The story of a long forgotten 528i and I.

kirk Apr 20, 2017

  1. kirk

    kirk I once rented two prostitutes at the same time Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,709
    Location:
    Allen, Texas
    When this thing arrived, saying I was stoked would be a massive understatement. I went to the website for installation instructions and got started. True to BMW form, everything has to be disassembled to remove the old radio and install the new. Removal of the base unit is easy. Take the knobs off, and 1/4 turn of this torx and it swings free.

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    Not really anything to this. Remember what I said before, its just a basic controller.


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    Downside: No more Beastie Boys tapes. Upside: No more Beastie Boys tapes. I had to remove several pieces of trim, take the glove box door off, piece of plastic behind that, and two kick panels. Then the dash loosens enough to put your aforementioned Shrek hands in there and start getting things loose. Second time I found myself wishing for baby hands while working on this car. Not wishing too hard really, because they would look odd paired with my orangutan arms and clown sized feet. And that’s all I need, I look freaky enough as is. *licks hand, rubs down cowlick* Focus! With the dash disassembled, laying loose and floppy, both units removed easily. Now THIS bitch, didn’t wanna come out. At all. Bye by little spring loaded trap door.



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    After that comes out, the Dynavin N6 bracket goes in. Made to go in, in three pieces, came to me pre assembled (like nine-twelve nuts and bolts and baby washers) so since I had the dash apart anyway, I spent some time finagling it to slide back in. Mostly cause Im lazy, and didn’t want to take that bracket apart, just to put it back together. But it went in!

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    But all these damn trim inserts broke when I removed the trim.

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    I found them online for like $2.50 each. Then I went to eBay. Through the magic of the internet, you can get like 22,000 of them, a pitbull puppy and a subtitled discount DVD of Frozen for $5. You have to wait 9 weeks for it to arrive, from deepest deepest china and since I may or may not have already seen Frozen, I opted just to pay full price.

    Through some witchery, a little bit of prayer and a couple bleeding knuckles, I got the wires in, and the radio powers up. With this radio you have to run a USB extension from the back to be able to plug in. Of course the passenger side is easiest, but also the laziest. I sent my buddy a pic of the cord coming out the passenger side, and in true friends talk shiat form, he pointed out my laziness and to try again. I bet I jacked with trying to run this damn cable on the drivers side for 30-45 minutes. There is most of the AC system on that side, a metal brace/pipe, a mountain, three of the last six missing pets from those sad posters, Jimmie Hoffa and nine cars worth of metal in the way. Such a pisser! And my big ass hands don’t fit well. Did I mention my big ass hands? Big ass hands. So I did what every other sane person would do. That’s right, I took out the AC controls.

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    With that out of the way, I was able to snake the cable through and around to the drivers side.

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    I don’t have a permanent mounting spot for it yet, I'll really have to look see what I can come up with, but it hides nicely on the drivers side. I rarely have a passenger, and if I did, why on earth would I give them musical control? That’s a big responsibility, and one I'm not sure many of my friends would be up to. Too many of them like current pop music for my liking. *shudder*

    Once the radio is in, you have to program it to speak the DSP secret twin language by turning down the radio via the steering wheel, adjusting the amp gain, then turning the radio itself up to half, THEN bringing the stereo volume up. That took a few tries to get perfect, but when music poured out, that wasn’t recorded on a cassette, it made me smile. I threw in some Isley Brothers "Voyage to Atlantis", to dial in the settings, and sat back smiling. I did have to order knobs for it, as they didn’t show up. He swears he mailed them, I swear he lost them. Maybe the truth lies in between both, or maybe he kept them as a momento of days gone. All I know is I got a damn good radio at a damn good price. Its even built specifically to match the interior, not attract undue attention, and match the dash lights exactly. Yes, its that cool.

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    Thats as far as my tale goes this time. Until next time, Constant Reader, avoid old BMWs unless you want to practice the art of frustration control, or you are just a sadomasochist who likes hand pain.

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  2. Muadeeb

    Muadeeb Bastard Admin from Hell Admin

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Dallas
    You need to do more write ups. I could blow off work and read this shiat all day.
     
  3. Prime

    Prime Some Kind of In Charge? Admin

    Messages:
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    Suffolk, VA
    That prose tho. Beautifully written and a joy to read. I'm in agreement with Deeb. Write more.
     
  4. kirk

    kirk I once rented two prostitutes at the same time Supporting Member

    Messages:
    14,709
    Location:
    Allen, Texas
    Ha! I was bored at work, and the whore thread wasn't popping. Thanks guys.
     

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